Friday, May 22, 2009
YouTube Superstar: Chris the Parade Kid
I'm not going to lie to you, things haven't really changed all that much since last week. I'm still kind of down, due mostly to the severe ineffectiveness of Chicagoland sports teams: Since Sunday the Cubs are 0-4 and the Blackhawks are 0-2 in their playoff series. Add to this my own NHL09 slump (0-4 with 2 different teams) that has actually seen me cry out to an indifferent god for just a single fucking light in the darkness. So as you can see, I'm in need of a little pick-me-up that only three days of no work and nice weather and Chris The Parade Kid can bring.
Chris is a delightful enigma. He appears to be a white male of indiscriminate age (made harder to define due to his omnipresent high vocal register) who dons over-sized cardboard Spock ears, mom pants, some sort of (presumably) stuffed bra and sleeveless lycra top and bounces up and down to various pop music songs while swaying his arms at irregular intervals. He received the moniker of Parade Kid from his frequent appearance in his Georgia hometown's annual Independence Day parade wearing his usual "elf" outfit (sorry about the Lenny Kravitz):
Why does he do this? Is it the result of some explosive combination of mental retardation, psychological problems or bizarre sexual fetish? All three? What's his deal with Harry Potter? And what the fuck is a Pikachu Wall? I believe the answers to all these questions are: who cares? He's obviously comfortable with who he is and what he does and by existing he has brought minutes of amusement and bewilderment to bored cube-dwellers like myself. And for this I salute you, Chris. May we non-elves experience just a pinch of the joy that seems to follow you wherever you bounce.