Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm so bored with the USA

What happened America? When did every single program produced in the US become "reality shows" populated by cut-rate actors pretending to be "real people". When did it become acceptable to base one of these shows around an over-the-hill douchebag hair rocker and his attempts to fuck skanks? Does every fucking show have feature a British dude yelling at people? You still find timeslots to give to scripted comedy but forget to add anything resembling funny material. Why? It's not that fucking hard. The Brits are able to manage and even the fucking Canadians and NEW ZEALAND are now currently kicking our asses when it comes to the funny. NEW ZEALAND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!


Was somebody pitching ideas and you got bored and said "Fuck it, give Howie Mandel a game show where people point at suitcases to win prizes"? Thank God IC recently added Boomerang to their cable lineup, the plots from The Herculoids beat out anything on 24. As far as I know Zandor never ordered Igoo torture a fucking baby to stop their crazy planet from getting destroyed. Who fucking watches this shit? "Oh, did you see last night's House? House was being a real dick to someone and then ended up saving that person's life! It was great!"


Look, all I'm saying is that if you take away a man's baseball and football, you gotta replace it with something or at least make the Bulls learn how to play basketball so I can watch them without being embarrassed. OK?

Oh, and nice try having Spongebob quote some dialog from Pete and Ray. Too little, too late, assholes.


Churlita said...

"Reality" shows are cheaper to producer because they don't have to pay actor salaries or writers...or at least not good writers, apparently.

I usually just watch movies anymore. That way, I avoid commercials too.

Tanja said...

At least there's still pro wrestling and PBS.

Your Humble Proprietor said...

Tanya, I have to admit to being pretty excited about the return of NWA-Anarchy Wrestling and some other southern wrestling show that has been appearing on channel 16. Anarchy is charmingly low rent with chatty fat announcers and features a stable of "spooky" devil worshipers.

Churlita, I get the feeling that the current television climate has really alienated a lot of good, hungry writers but I just can't buy that the cost is prohibitive when there are just so many pretty, but ultimately empty police procedurals and talent shows on. I think it's more an aversion to writing dialogue that will eventually be spoken by Jim Belushi. Which is, of course, completely understandable.

Todd Totale said...

So your bagging Spongebob because the creative forces behind it lifted Pete n Ray dialogue too late? Hater. The fact that they took a line, one of the better ones, IMO...and added it to a show where 99% of the viewers won't get it is still pretty awesome.
That Osbournes thing on the other hand, wow. I had to watch it twice because it looked so fake. This can't be happening, can it? Tell me it's a joke.